Just seen a memory come across my feed on Facebook. WOW, right on time. This was when I learned that I had suffered several strokes back in 2001. Fast forward to today and I learned it was not only strokes but Relapsing Remitting MS and Antiphospholipid syndrome (APS). While I may not understand God’s timing, I wont question it because I know its

right on time. I keep telling ya’ll that I’m refocused and centering myself which I should have done awhile back.

I allowed life to get in the way after Amado Flores was deported back in 2017. I allowed his being denied his visa in 2019 get in the way, our international/long distance marriage issues got in the way. I allowed my financial stress, and school get in the way. Issues with raising the kids on my own and being married for over 15 years and becoming a single mother – it all got in the way. Oh my I allowed sooo much to get in the way. All the while I held my head up high, no one knew of anything or me being sick unless you knew me because you knew what to look for or I shared. Often my sharing was limited for many reasons, some legal, some mental/emotional, some for the sake of our family (the kids).

I ate wrong, I smoked ciggerates, I stressed over nothing, and then some. I might have cussed you out in a not so nice way and sometimes nice way, LOL. Oh but God! I may have loved on you and told you where to go in the same breath if you wished harm on me and mine. Honestly, I still might (I’m still getting better and don’t play about mine, lol).

I say all this to say, God has a nice loving yet stern way of allowing us all to hit our rock bottom and stop trying to control things ourselves. Santos and I have spent years, hours learning from past mistakes (neither of us perfect – sometimes still sinning to date). We equally understand our roles – I honestly focus on me and mine because thats who I answer to God for (me and my junk). It takes a strong person to recognize their faults, and I’m not saying that in a bragging way – it took me getting on my knees and praying long nights to hear this and this didn’t just start this has been years of work that prepared me for the unthinkinable – LIFE!

My life has always been and will always be a testimony. I’m not ashamed, embarrased, nor will I hide it. I repent, live, and learn so another can grow and learn from me. I wll always call out the enemy when I see, I will always call out wrong when I see it because I dont and will not go to hell for NO ONE not even for me. PERIOD, that part of me has never changed. I may stray but I WILL FIND my God in ALL THINGS AND ALWAYS!!!

Dont allow the enemy to try and hold your past mistakes, sins, faults whatever label you use, over your head. He always likes to remind you of what you were and where you came from. But he will never tell you about who you are and WHO’S YOU ARE nor where you are going. Because he knows that if you focus on that he has serious problems. You don’t have to remind me devil – its the life I lived and continue to live so I can show you better than I can tell you. Meanwhile, as I’ve always stated the book began in

2005 along with the ministry and soon shall be birthed in his timing. I’m no longer keeping my mouth closed, I’m no longer sitting by idle while he continues to steal, kill, and destroy. Satan knows his time is up with me and my family and what God has for us. I DON’T CARE WHAT IT LOOK LIKE, FEEL LIKE, OR WHAT IT SEEM TO BE – GOD HAS THE FINAL SAY SO PERIOD!!!! So, yes – GOD IS GOOD!!!!

I was built for this fight – I’ve got almost 20 years vested as a wife and mother, 40 as a daughter and sister, and over 20 years in ministry – The war has already been won for the battle that never begun, because YAHWAY IS KING!

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Daily 411: woke up this morning to my Abide meditation app still playing on my phone, so I decided imma share it. Lord remove the spirit of pride and replace it with humility. None of us want disgrace in our lives. Meditate on this word that will help you fight pride. It helped me so hoping it does the same for anyone who needs it.

I feel asleep last night with my app on like I use to and man this hit home. Sometimes we don’t realize when we get prideful. One thing I know is when I ask God to do something HE DOES! I’ve been asking for change in my life, my marriage, my family, with my kids, and more. I know the first step is to start with me. But how do honestly do that when you don’t want to face some hard truths. I can honestly say that since Amado was deported several years ago my life has been on a roller coaster. We both have said and done things to destroy our family. Most of it I kept to myself and didn’t dare share with anyone because of pride, guilt, and shame. Over the years I would get into my prayer closet and cry like a baby and talk to God, beg or demand some stuff and then do half the work and be ticked off when I didn’t get my way. True to my Taurus nature I would then try and fix it myself, of course only to make matters worse or semi fix the problem. Had to finally look in the mirror a about half a year before COVID struck and that’s when I made a promise to God that I was done. I turn everything over to him completely. I no longer wanted to half way fix my marriage, my health, my finances, Amado’s return to the US, our kids mental health and more. I wanted it ALL DONE! But for me to get what I want I have to do what God wants and even if that meant losing some people, things, and more. Was I willing to do it…YES!

Deciding to rededicate my life to Yahweh today was the best decision I’ve ever made. Pride will have you thinking you don’t need to rededicate your life. But I looked at it like this, I cheated on God with some many things and they became my idol. I asked for forgiveness but I wanted him to know how serious I am about our relationship. Today during prayer with Afani as we dedicated our lives and my children’s life, Amado’s life, and her boyfriend’s life and prayed over our homes etc. I felt such a peach fall fresh upon me.

Ya’ll know I’m always quick to brag on God and how wonderful He is. I can’t help but be in awe as I sit here. So much more to share as He leads me to do so. Love you all and hope this ministers to you as it did to me.

Be You

Posted: December 8, 2016 in Everyday Life Rules, Let's Talk

Being an authentic you is the best thing you can ever do for yourself and others. #betru